i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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