I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
