I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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