3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
