I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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