Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
