So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
