Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
