READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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