So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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