I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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