the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
