she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
