I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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