Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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