did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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