He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
