I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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