Non-Jews are for practice
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
