Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
