worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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