I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
