i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
