I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
