The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
