you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
