But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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