I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
