i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
