people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize