thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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