All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
