shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
