batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
