He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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