how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
