I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
