Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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