i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
