If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize