Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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