it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
