Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
