hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
