So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
