did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
