# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
