i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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