I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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