Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
