I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
