Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
