someone threw a dead crab at me
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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