We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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