I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
