she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
